The Hands Down Best One Second of My Life

Wow. Make some room MJ- you've got company. We'll put the fact that the Cavaliers blew an early lead for the second game in a row (23 points this time), and we can even count out a rare poor shooting night from Mo Williams. If you're a hater, you're definitely not happy. Admit it- James is that good. In case you want to see the play again, or if for some reason you've been living in a cave for the past 2 days, maybe with Osama Bin Laden, here's a sweet link. Those NBA commercials ask where amazing will happen for you. I found the answer David Stern: May 22nd, 2009, Quicken Loans Arena: Cleveland, OH.

WTF?!?!: The Cleveland Browns vs. Josh Cribbs

I don't know what the hell is going on inside the heads of Randy Lerner, George Kokinis, or Eric Mangini, but I'm not sure I like it. After begging and pleading for a new contract, feeling he deserves more money, Josh Cribbs wants out of Cleveland. WTF BROWNS?!!?! This is Josh Cribbs--in my mind, one of the only good players on the team. Apparently, he wants something like a 4 year/ $40 Mil. deal, with $15 Million guaranteed. That's a steep price, and I think it's a ridiculous request. But instead of working a deal out, what does the front office do? Nothing. They don't try to bargain with Cribbs. Nothing. He's set to make $645,000 this year. Come on Cleveland. Give this Dawg a bone. I don't know where we can scrounge up some extra cash for him, but I've got ideas (starting with maybe getting rid of half the Jets' team that we now have on our roster). But honestly, this is ridiculous. Without Joshua Cribbs, the Browns will suck even more, and we don't have very far to fall to get there. 

WTF?!?!: Bobby Jenks

So I read on ESPN.com that Bobby Jenks, after admitting that he intentionally threw behind Ian Kinsler on Saturday, has been fined. Jenks spilled to the Trib, (when asked if the pitch was an accident) "No, I meant to. To send a message. Basically I was saying, 'I'm sick of seeing our guys get hit and hurt and almost get taken out of the game.' I threw it with intention." So what is the fine for this stupid move? No, not a suspension. But rather a hefty fine...of $750. WTF?!?! Really Major League Baseball? That's all you're fining Jenks after he straight up said, "Yeah, I meant to pitch that there, to you know, send a message?" Plenty of pitchers will throw the ball a little too inside or behind a batter to retaliate against something that the other pitcher did in the last inning. But nobody has been stupid enough to admit it until now. So the MLB wants to show that admitting this is wrong, and you shouldn't throw behind a batter to retaliate, and you fine him $750?? Homeboy is pulling down a phat $5.6 Million this season. You really think you're sending a message by fining him that miniscule amount of money? You cant even by a 42-inch plasma screen TV for that! Major League Baseball continues to amaze me. JC Romero gets fined 60 games after he came up positive for a banned substance in a supplement he bought at GNC, Manny Ramirez get slapped with a 50 game fine for elevated testosterone levels, and Jenks gets a BS fine of $750? You've got to be kidding me...

Least Favorite Pro Sports Player 6: Joey Crawford

Yeah, I know he's not a player, but dammit do I hate him. I mean come on Joey Crawford. Aside from being one of the worst officiators that the game has ever seen and being consistently bad, he'll dish out T's like John Stockton could dish out assists. It's funny. I feel almost certain that, even though LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, D-Wade, CP3, Chris Bosh (insert any other basketball player EVER to play in any league) is doing all the scoring, Joey Crawford thinks that people are paying x amount of money to watch him officiate. I'm sorry: LeBron James may put asses in the seats in ANY arena from Cleveland to Kathmandu, and when people see a picture of Joey Crawford, most of them either laugh or say nothing because they don't know of his ridiculous ways. From the way he winds up for offensive foul calls and travelling calls, to being overly dramatic on the oh-so-frequent technical fouls that he serves up. I mean come on! This is the guy who slapped two techs on Tim Duncan while he was laughing on the bench. HE SENT HIM TO THE SHOWERS!!! If he reacted like that every time the Cavaliers went nuts on the bench, you'd see a Cavaliers starting line-up looking something like Jawad Williams and Trey Johnson, (and we'd probably have to scour the planet to find Dajuan Wagner or Vitaly Potapenko), and Robert "Tractor" Traylor, because everyone on the Cavs' roster would be suspended for 50 games. Seriously Jo-Jo: nobody cares about you. Let the men play! Get off your knees, and stop blowing the game. 

NBA Playoff Roundup Thus Far

Sorry I haven't posted in so long, but let's get down to business. The NBA Playoffs are here and it's cause for celebration. The Cavs destroyed the Pistons, and now look to send Josh Smith and the Atlanta Hawks packing, which they will do in 5 or 6 games (maybe 4??). Mike Brown cleared the bench in the first game, giving Sasha Pavlovic, Darnell Jackson, and Tarence Kinsey playing time. I keep forgetting that Pavlovic isn't bad. I mean, he used to start for us. I feel bad that Szczerbiak gets more playing time than him, and I wonder if we're even going to keep him once his contract expires. The Cavs look to take a 2-0 lead on the Hawks tonight. And now for more exciting basketball: The Boston Celtics looked like crap against the Chicago Bulls, who still should've won the series. The C's got lucky that one of the league's best 3-point shooting teams, the Orlando Magic, let Eddie House make it rain all night long, dropping 31 points. Damn, I hate the Celtics. But anyway. I'm not sure who I want to win in that series. I don't like the Celtics, but I feel like a Cavs vs. Celtics series would be more exciting that a Cavs vs. Magic one. We'll just have to wait and see how it plays out. Then we have the Lakers and Rockets. The Rockets stole the first game at the Staples Center, but Kobe would hear nothing of a Rockets 2-0 lead. The biggest Laker fan in the world right now is Tracy McGrady. In his career, he has never gotten his team out of the first round of the playoffs. And the season that he is injured, what do you know? They might actually make it to the Western Conference Finals or even the NBA Finals. Would he pull a Willis Reed (or a Kevin Garnett)? I don't think so... But I really want the Rockets to win, so the Cavs can destroy them in the Finals, if they can beat Denver. Speaking of Denver, I think Dallas should just forfeit the next two games. There is no way that Chauncey Billups and Carmelo Anthony will settle for a loss. They are unstoppable, and I honestly think that they'll get the brooms out on the Mavs. Sorry Mark Cuban.