LeBum: Tweets I Wanted to See on LeBron James' Twitter Page:

"Hey man, thanks for taking over the most hated athlete in the world category from me. Now that Elin is gone, and you're idiotic "Decision" are now over, I can now get back to concentrating and maybe win a few majors. Maybe people will stop hating me altogether and channel their anger to you. BTW, where should we go for our birthday retreat this year?"-EldrickTigerWoods

"LeBron James is a turrible player who will never be more than a sidekick to D-Wade. Turrible, just turrible. Almost as turrible as the city of Cleveland. Yo, Dan Gilbert, gimme a call when that casino of yours opens, and cop me a room with some stippers, playa!"-CBark34

"I can't believe you left us! Now who is going to make me look good on the court, so people don't realize that I'm a rich man's Joakim Noah?! I mean come on! Have you compared his nightly boxscore to mine? It's insane!"-WildThingAndy17

"Hey Bronny Bron! It's ya boy, Coach Mike Brown. Listen, I've been thinkin': I'm a terrible coach and after the playoffs this year and last, everybody knows it, so it's not just obvious to you, Mo, Andy, Z, Shaq, and the crew. And since nobody is gonna be hiring ol' Mikey B, maybe you can talk to Spoelstra and Riles, and get me a job with the Miami Heat! Holla atcha boy!"-CoachMikeBrown

"Why are you still alive? Why?! Why won't you return my phonecalls?! Why won't you look at me when we make love? You're thinking about him, aren't you! Just run away to D-Wade...See if I care! Where did I go so wrong?!?! COME BACK TO ME!!!!"-DGilbert

"Daddy, ever since you decided to leave Cleveland, but keep us, you're family, in Northeast Ohio, the kids beat me up every day at school. They say mean things like "Your daddy ruined the Cavs!" and "Your daddy quit in the playoffs!" or "My daddy drinks and hits me because your daddy decided to leave town!". Make them stop!"-LBJ23jr

"Something about My dad, Boston sports teams, Almost Famous, Boogie nights, and SportsGal"-Sportsguy33

"I would've never gone and played on the same team with my friends. I got the job done myself, with a little help from Scottie and D-Rod. Man, Rodman was a freak. I remember this one time he came to my house and robbed us, but the only thing he took was Juanita's wedding dress. What a freak! But back to the topic at hand. If you think you're better than me, you're outcha damn mind."-TheREAL23

"I know you brought Big Z to South Beach. What about Wally?!!?!"-Szczrb
KingJames "I don't care what team you're on- I can't wait to knock you out of the playoffs again."-RealKevinGarnett5

"Yo, Bron. Tell yo mama to give me a call. I haven't heard from her in a couple of days, and if she's with Mo or Andy, Ima go off my meds, get on my bike with my guitar case fulla gats and pay yall a visit. Just kidding. But seriously, tell her to call me. She's got my digits."-DWest13

"Glad I'm no longer the most hated former Cavalier for the way I left!"

-RealBoozer

"I would've left Cleveland too" -JoakimNoah